can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
