i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
