he shaved USA in his pubs
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
two words...techno handjob
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
