imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
