the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
