He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
