i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
