I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
