its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
