maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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