if you like me you must not know who I am
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
