You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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