dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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