I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
