pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
