I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
