its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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