Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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