was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
