even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
