IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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