the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
