i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
