"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
