I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
