When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
