he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
