I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
