What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
