I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
