how can u be prego again
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
