She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
