girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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