I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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