i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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