You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
