i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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