You really coming over, don't trick.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
