I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
