i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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