don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
where does the pee come out of this thing
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
