people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
