I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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