you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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