my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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