just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
