Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
