Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
