yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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