im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
