It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
God, I missed his penis.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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