Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
