If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
